The Summer Break

Now that I'm out of my dear Wonderland, the place I learned to love and that intertwined itself into my daily life so much that the way I see the world is based on a huge scale in what I learned there, I miss it so much.

But it's a bit pointless to miss the MUWCI I left. It will not be the same when I go back in August. My second years will not be there. And before I get too melodramatic, I should remind myself that I have to laugh about me once in a while.

My mom already gave me a warning that if I don't go back to "normality", if I don't change my attitude, she won't send me back to India. Some love huh. I really don't get her sometimes. She says she doesn't care about things that she throws back at me later. She says she doesn't mind me being there because it's for my future, but she gave me this sentence. Dammit.

I haven't had much interaction with my father so far for me to talk about how bad/good/different it is to live with him.

I miss Nydia, her comments, her way of thinking. I'm sick of this bubble, and it's only been a few days.

I miss Naoko's jokes, and talking to Afsha, and talking at night with Turoo, and seeing Omer and Paula walk in and out the house, and Bethany and Ayesha in their house, going crazy with work once in a while... damn.

What the hell will I do the whole summer?

It is now that the goodbye starts seeming real.

Looking myself in the mirror I can really tell I changed. Not just my appearance, but the way my eyes work. The way I understand the world. The colors, and the thoughts that work like x.rays or something.. reminding me where the things I buy might come from, what it means to buy them.

Even the weather is sad, rainy, grey. I love cold, but I miss the heat... the heat of the hill.