a week back and the world has changed on its tip

A week back here is a long time. Many things happen, you get happy, tired, pissed and angry with yourself. Right now I'm the last phase of these. Yet once again I did something stupid, or said something I should have, or failed a paper.

On monday I was tired of being here, even if the night before I had an amazing butter-melting talk with someone I like. Then on Tuesday I stressed out about my Econ paper (or better said, how bad it went), then I started speaking to my teachers about my grades, and on Wednesday I came to the conclusion that I have to sit and work more regularly this term. I got a post-it that turned my head around, but it also pushed me to take a call. Then on Thursday I was pissed again at people here, more specifically faculty, new faculty, and I also got excited because my CI is up and running again. Finally today I'm pissed at myself, and thinking again about the future, and about what I did wrong, and about why I still want to be here, and about the amount of work I´ve kept postponing this week.

I think it's time for me to grow up and start thinking more before speaking. I think it's also time for me to start working as much as I should.

Probably this is one of the last large lessons I´ll learn from being here. A time comes when the things we don't want to face are inevitable, and they're coming, no matter what we do, or say or think, they're coming. We have to decide what do we want to do when those come.