Una cancion de Coldplay que me conforta por el momento.
El campus sigue igual, parece como si el tiempo nunca hubiera pasado, como si solo hubiera ido un fin de semana afuera… y sin embargo… cosas cambiaron.
Mis amigos vuelven, uno de ellos no.
Es mi verde esquina, es mi pequeño refugio, y el lugar donde me comienzo a sentir en casa... con cada hora, con cada sol. Las tardes soleadas y frias, las voces en idiomas que no entiendo, el mono de wada 3, el olor de mi shampoo, mi libro de arte, todo… todo sigue.
Es justamente el inicio, ya no esta en mi mente o en mis esperanzas… esta aqui. El nuevo term, las nuevas oportunidades, las nuevas sonrisas… y a lo lejos, el final de todo que se acerca lentamente, lento pero seguro.
Mis dias en India estan contados desde antes de que viniera, eso lo se, tal vez es en el segundo año que se siente mas, porque es mas tiempo el que has vivido que el que te queda… pero yo me quiero ir de India sin “que hubiera pasado si…”, quiero irme diciendo “han sido los mejores años de mi vida hasta ahora”.
La gente aqui es tan… distante a algunas cosas, y tan obviamente preocupada por otras.
Las sonrisas familiares, los acentos que ya no son tan extranjeros despues de un tiempo, y el espejo. Este lugar es todo lo que quiero por el momento, “en un estado permanente”. Mi pais, mi familia y mis amigos estan alla.. y seguiran siendo por mucho tiempo, cuando llegue el tiempo tambien morire de ansias por verlos.
Y mientras tanto, veo los laberintos, las teteras, los gatos, las reinas, los gusanos, y los conejos… las aventuras por vivir, las maravillas por ver, y la vida por vivir aqui.
Sombras blancas del pasado deje atras, el futuro no tiene color... se lo daré :)
---
A song by Coldplay that comforts me by now.
Campus is still the same, as if time never went by, as if it was only a weekend out… and yet… things changed.
My friends come back, one of them won’t.
It’s my green corner, it’s my little shelter, and the place where I begin to feel at home… with every hour, with every sun. The cold and sunny afternoons, the voices in languages I don’t understand, the monkey in wada 3, the smell of my shampoo, my art book, everything… everything keeps.
It’s the beginning, it’s not in my mind, or my hopes… it’s here. The new term, the new opportunities, the new smiles… and far at the distance, the end of everything that comes slowly, slow but sure.
My days in India are counted since before I came here, that I know, perhaps it’s in the second year that you feel it more, because it’s more the time that you have lived than the one you have left… but I want to leave India without the “what if..?”, I want to leave saying “it’s been the best time of my life so far”.
People here is so… distant to some things, and so obviously worried about others.
The familiar smiles, the no longer foreign accents, and the mirror. This place is everything I want for now.. .”in a permanent state”. My country, my family and my friends are there… and will keep being for a long time. When the time comes I’ll be so anxious to see them.
And in the meantime, I see the labyrinths, the teapots, the cats, the queens, the worms and the rabbits… the adventures to live, the wonders to see, and the life to live here.
White shadows of the past I left behind, the future has no color... I'll give it some :)
sábado, 9 de enero de 2010
viernes, 1 de enero de 2010
KT Tunstall y el 2010 / KT Tunstall and 2010
To start this entry... I'd like to give thanks... to whoever might listen, for the full life I have.
I think it's time to put myself away
Seek out a little silence
Close the doors and sit a while
And walk a little
And as I put my words away
The flow slows
See this penny in the stream
Pickin? it up is easy
Follow the shape of it
Jump in
Swallow it whole
Jump in
Even though I know my way around
Possibly there's something that I found
Holdin? on for findin' solid ground
Someday soon, someday soon
Gonna turn myself into the grass
And I'll grow
Take this space above my head
And live a little, little
Gonna wear my feathered headdress
Like an Indian chief
Gonna stretch out both my arms
I'm gonna test the temperature
Follow the taste of it
Jump in
Swallow it whole
Jump in
Even though I know my way around
Possibly there's something new I found
Holdin? on for findin' solid ground
Oh, oh, oh
Even though I know my way around
Possibly there's something new I found
Holdin? on for findin' solid ground
Someday soon, someday soon
Maybe walk a little
Someday soon
" ...new plans, new goals, new challenges, new friendships, new discoveries, new ideas, new paths, new me, new Guatemala, new ways of seeing life..."
Some of the thoughts that are in my head: The apartment that is being furnished little by little with lamps of ways of thinking, lessons' wallpaper, a board with ideas, quilting lies, and truths to protect me (and maybe to hurt me). And of course, pictures of friends, memories on canvass, and voices made melodies that jam in the radio. My space, my little house, my mind, from where I create all these crazy comparisons.
This year... my limits will expand, I'll go after my dreams like I haven't done before, my hunger, my will, my impetuosity, my perseverance, those I'll give good use to. The year of golden goals, and of achieved dreams.
A book, one school, a forum, some travel, a few pounds, some songs!, An occasional painting ... and hugs lived on my own skin are on the list of things to see, do, come and have.
With fear, joy, love, and effort.
Living.
2thousand10. Two thousand ten. 2010. Twenty ten. For me, a blank canvas ... I'll get my brushes.
---
Para comenzar esta entrada... quisiera dar gracias... a quien sea que oiga, por la vida llena que tengo.
"...nuevos planes, nuevas metas, nuevos retos, nuevas amistades, nuevos descubrimientos, nuevas ideas, nuevos rumbos, nuevo yo, nueva Guatemala, nuevas formas de ver la vida..."
Algunos de los pensamientos que acomodan mi cabeza: El apartamento donde se va amueblando poco a poco con lamparas de formas de pensar, papel tapiz de lecciones, un pizarron de ideas, mentiras para acolcharme, y verdades para protegerme (y quizas lastimarme). Y claro, fotos de amigos, recuerdos hechos pintura, y voces vueltas melodías que suenan en la radio. Mi espacio, mi casita, mi mente, de donde creo todas estas locas comparaciones.
Este año... se expandiran mis limites, ire tras mis sueños como nunca lo he hecho, mi hambre, mis ganas, mi impetu, mi perseverancia las pondré a buen uso. El año de las metas doradas, y los sueños alcanzados.
Un libro, una universidad, un foro, algunos viajes, unas libritas, unas canciones!, una que otra pintura... y los abrazos vividos en carne propia estan en esa lista de cosas por ver, hacer, entrar, y tener.
Con miedo, alegría, amor, y esfuerzo.
Viviendo.
2mil10. Dos mil diez. 2010. Veinte diez. Para mí, un lienzo en blanco... voy por los
pinceles.
I think it's time to put myself away
Seek out a little silence
Close the doors and sit a while
And walk a little
And as I put my words away
The flow slows
See this penny in the stream
Pickin? it up is easy
Follow the shape of it
Jump in
Swallow it whole
Jump in
Even though I know my way around
Possibly there's something that I found
Holdin? on for findin' solid ground
Someday soon, someday soon
Gonna turn myself into the grass
And I'll grow
Take this space above my head
And live a little, little
Gonna wear my feathered headdress
Like an Indian chief
Gonna stretch out both my arms
I'm gonna test the temperature
Follow the taste of it
Jump in
Swallow it whole
Jump in
Even though I know my way around
Possibly there's something new I found
Holdin? on for findin' solid ground
Oh, oh, oh
Even though I know my way around
Possibly there's something new I found
Holdin? on for findin' solid ground
Someday soon, someday soon
Maybe walk a little
Someday soon
" ...new plans, new goals, new challenges, new friendships, new discoveries, new ideas, new paths, new me, new Guatemala, new ways of seeing life..."
Some of the thoughts that are in my head: The apartment that is being furnished little by little with lamps of ways of thinking, lessons' wallpaper, a board with ideas, quilting lies, and truths to protect me (and maybe to hurt me). And of course, pictures of friends, memories on canvass, and voices made melodies that jam in the radio. My space, my little house, my mind, from where I create all these crazy comparisons.
This year... my limits will expand, I'll go after my dreams like I haven't done before, my hunger, my will, my impetuosity, my perseverance, those I'll give good use to. The year of golden goals, and of achieved dreams.
A book, one school, a forum, some travel, a few pounds, some songs!, An occasional painting ... and hugs lived on my own skin are on the list of things to see, do, come and have.
With fear, joy, love, and effort.
Living.
2thousand10. Two thousand ten. 2010. Twenty ten. For me, a blank canvas ... I'll get my brushes.
---
Para comenzar esta entrada... quisiera dar gracias... a quien sea que oiga, por la vida llena que tengo.
"...nuevos planes, nuevas metas, nuevos retos, nuevas amistades, nuevos descubrimientos, nuevas ideas, nuevos rumbos, nuevo yo, nueva Guatemala, nuevas formas de ver la vida..."
Algunos de los pensamientos que acomodan mi cabeza: El apartamento donde se va amueblando poco a poco con lamparas de formas de pensar, papel tapiz de lecciones, un pizarron de ideas, mentiras para acolcharme, y verdades para protegerme (y quizas lastimarme). Y claro, fotos de amigos, recuerdos hechos pintura, y voces vueltas melodías que suenan en la radio. Mi espacio, mi casita, mi mente, de donde creo todas estas locas comparaciones.
Este año... se expandiran mis limites, ire tras mis sueños como nunca lo he hecho, mi hambre, mis ganas, mi impetu, mi perseverancia las pondré a buen uso. El año de las metas doradas, y los sueños alcanzados.
Un libro, una universidad, un foro, algunos viajes, unas libritas, unas canciones!, una que otra pintura... y los abrazos vividos en carne propia estan en esa lista de cosas por ver, hacer, entrar, y tener.
Con miedo, alegría, amor, y esfuerzo.
Viviendo.
2mil10. Dos mil diez. 2010. Veinte diez. Para mí, un lienzo en blanco... voy por los
pinceles.
viernes, 25 de diciembre de 2009
Yo no olvido el año viejo.
This entry's title is the name of a song in spanish that they play every year, and it's quite old. Translating it would be a disrespect to the memory of my childhood, and of every spanish speaker who knows it.
And again, yet another entry regarding new year's eve. Probably I write more since I have more time, I hope to write more often when I get to back MUWCI.
Last time I wrote about being thankful, and about one of my biggest lessons during this trip to the land of the unknown. And this entry relates in the sense of me being thankful, and shooting for the stars.
The night is dark, but beautiful. The stars look so far away, as they look back home. And yet, I feel like in this year I can reach them. This is my year to go beyond my dreams and set golden goals. Goals for me and for what I want to do for the world. Goals that will become life lessons.
It is also the year I'll turn 18. A big milestone for me. :) Not for the age itself, but for what it stands for. I used to think that when I'd be 15 or 16 I'd feel like a teenager. Well, for sometime I never felt like that, probably because I didn't even know what it was supposed to feel like. And now... I will be 18! Grown up. As in IDs, Driver's License, responsabilities. In that sense I will grow up. As a human being, I already have grown up quite a bit. And I still want to keep growing, learning, experiencing.
What more...?
M, I will see my family and friends, after saying goodbye to half of the people in my school. I will finish my 1st year, I should have an idea of what I'll do with my life at the end of 2010, I will grow.
I will grow roots, and branches, and fruits and flowers. :)
Who knows what I'll be doing a year from now. Perhaps sitting and writing again. I'm eager to live this year. Eager and enthusiasthic. To go beyond fears, and prejudices, and to try and keep mantaining a bright and positive view on most things.
As for the title of the entry... it means I will not forget this year. I will not forget the lessons it has taught me. The people I've crossed roads with. The choices, the mistakes, the successes, the enemies, the friends, the embarassments, and the glories.
Me dejo una chiva, una burra negra, una yegua blanca, y una buena suegra (8).
___
El título de esta entrada es el nombre de una canciñon en español que ponen cada año, y que es un poco vieja. Traducirla sería una falta de respeto a la memoria de mi niñez, y a la de cada hispanohablante que la conoce.
Y otra vez, otra entrada más sobre la víspera de año nuevo. Probablemente escribo más porque tengo mas tiempo. Espero escribir mas cuando vuelva a MUWCI.
La última vez escribi sobre ser agradecido, y sobre una de las lecciones más grandes durante este viaje a la tierra de lo desconocido. Y esta entrada se relaciona en el sentido de que estoy agradecido, y apuntándole a las estrellas.
La noche está oscura, pero bella. Las estrellas se ven tan lejos, como se ven en mi casa. Y todavía, siento que este año puedo alcanzarlas. Este es mi año para ir más allá de mis sueños y ponerme metas doradas. Metas para mí y para lo que quiero hacer por el mundo. Metas que se volverán lecciones de vida.
Es también el año en el que cumpliré 18. Un gran marcador para mí. :) No solo por la edad en sím pero por lo que representa. Solía pensar que cuando tuviera 15 o 16 me sentiría como un adolescente. Bueno, por algún tiempo unca me setí así, probablemente porque ni siquiera sabía cómo se siente. Y ahora... tendré 18! Mayor. Identificaciones, Licencia de Conducir, responsabilidades. En ese sentido creceré. Como ser humano ya he crecido un buen tanto. Y todavía quiero seguir creciendo, aprendiendo, experimentando.
¿Qué mas...?
M, veré a mi familia y a mis amigos, después de decirle adiós a la mitad de la gente en mi colegio. Terminaré mi primer año, tendré una idea de lo que haré con mi vida al final del 2010, creceré.
Me crecerán raíces, y ramas, y frutos y flores. :)
Quién sabe que estaré haciendo en un año. Probablemente sentado y escribiendo otra vez. Estoy ansioso por vivir este año. Ansioso y entusiástico. Para ir más allá de los miedos y los prejuicios, y para tratar de mantener una forma de ver la mayoría de las cosaas que sea brillante y positiva.
Con respecto al título de la entrada... significa que no olvidaré este año. No olvidaré las lecciones que me dió. La gente con la que crucé caminos. Las decisiones, los errores, los éxitos, los enemigos, los amigos, las verguenzas, y las glorias.
Me dejó una chiva, una burra negra, una yegua blanca, y una buena suegra (8).
And again, yet another entry regarding new year's eve. Probably I write more since I have more time, I hope to write more often when I get to back MUWCI.
Last time I wrote about being thankful, and about one of my biggest lessons during this trip to the land of the unknown. And this entry relates in the sense of me being thankful, and shooting for the stars.
The night is dark, but beautiful. The stars look so far away, as they look back home. And yet, I feel like in this year I can reach them. This is my year to go beyond my dreams and set golden goals. Goals for me and for what I want to do for the world. Goals that will become life lessons.
It is also the year I'll turn 18. A big milestone for me. :) Not for the age itself, but for what it stands for. I used to think that when I'd be 15 or 16 I'd feel like a teenager. Well, for sometime I never felt like that, probably because I didn't even know what it was supposed to feel like. And now... I will be 18! Grown up. As in IDs, Driver's License, responsabilities. In that sense I will grow up. As a human being, I already have grown up quite a bit. And I still want to keep growing, learning, experiencing.
What more...?
M, I will see my family and friends, after saying goodbye to half of the people in my school. I will finish my 1st year, I should have an idea of what I'll do with my life at the end of 2010, I will grow.
I will grow roots, and branches, and fruits and flowers. :)
Who knows what I'll be doing a year from now. Perhaps sitting and writing again. I'm eager to live this year. Eager and enthusiasthic. To go beyond fears, and prejudices, and to try and keep mantaining a bright and positive view on most things.
As for the title of the entry... it means I will not forget this year. I will not forget the lessons it has taught me. The people I've crossed roads with. The choices, the mistakes, the successes, the enemies, the friends, the embarassments, and the glories.
Me dejo una chiva, una burra negra, una yegua blanca, y una buena suegra (8).
___
El título de esta entrada es el nombre de una canciñon en español que ponen cada año, y que es un poco vieja. Traducirla sería una falta de respeto a la memoria de mi niñez, y a la de cada hispanohablante que la conoce.
Y otra vez, otra entrada más sobre la víspera de año nuevo. Probablemente escribo más porque tengo mas tiempo. Espero escribir mas cuando vuelva a MUWCI.
La última vez escribi sobre ser agradecido, y sobre una de las lecciones más grandes durante este viaje a la tierra de lo desconocido. Y esta entrada se relaciona en el sentido de que estoy agradecido, y apuntándole a las estrellas.
La noche está oscura, pero bella. Las estrellas se ven tan lejos, como se ven en mi casa. Y todavía, siento que este año puedo alcanzarlas. Este es mi año para ir más allá de mis sueños y ponerme metas doradas. Metas para mí y para lo que quiero hacer por el mundo. Metas que se volverán lecciones de vida.
Es también el año en el que cumpliré 18. Un gran marcador para mí. :) No solo por la edad en sím pero por lo que representa. Solía pensar que cuando tuviera 15 o 16 me sentiría como un adolescente. Bueno, por algún tiempo unca me setí así, probablemente porque ni siquiera sabía cómo se siente. Y ahora... tendré 18! Mayor. Identificaciones, Licencia de Conducir, responsabilidades. En ese sentido creceré. Como ser humano ya he crecido un buen tanto. Y todavía quiero seguir creciendo, aprendiendo, experimentando.
¿Qué mas...?
M, veré a mi familia y a mis amigos, después de decirle adiós a la mitad de la gente en mi colegio. Terminaré mi primer año, tendré una idea de lo que haré con mi vida al final del 2010, creceré.
Me crecerán raíces, y ramas, y frutos y flores. :)
Quién sabe que estaré haciendo en un año. Probablemente sentado y escribiendo otra vez. Estoy ansioso por vivir este año. Ansioso y entusiástico. Para ir más allá de los miedos y los prejuicios, y para tratar de mantener una forma de ver la mayoría de las cosaas que sea brillante y positiva.
Con respecto al título de la entrada... significa que no olvidaré este año. No olvidaré las lecciones que me dió. La gente con la que crucé caminos. Las decisiones, los errores, los éxitos, los enemigos, los amigos, las verguenzas, y las glorias.
Me dejó una chiva, una burra negra, una yegua blanca, y una buena suegra (8).
Reasons to be thankful for. / Razones para estar agradecido.
As 2009 draws to an end, I am in a place where I can see
all the things I have in my life from a different perspective.
Everything that is taken for granted, everything that is
present in our every day lives, everything we use to measure
our lives as "good", is not here.
A bed, a birthday party, a birthday cake, a family, a room for
ourselves, a choice of food, a free morning, a new outfit for
the holidays, a fancy christmas dinner, a new football just
because the other one was getting old, a branded backpack,
fairy lights, access to a "good" education, christmas presents....
all of that is not here.
(Except maybe for the self-given free morning :P).
And yet, it is not the absence of all these many things what surprises
me, and has taught me one of the biggest lessons i've learned in my
life. It is the presence of one thing that we many times don't have
in our lives. Happiness. Reflected in the children's smiles and screams
when they sing and laugh and celebrate and live.
Being in this NGO taught me that my life is blessed with many more things
than I had seen. It taught me that even before getting this amazing
opportunity of coming to India, very rare and precious, my life was very
blessed.
It hit me.
I thought that the absence of what many people call a "good" christmas,
and of a trip to go home, to see my family and friends, was going to
break me into pieces. But it is these children and their everyday lives what
taught me I've seen very little of what I have in my life as good.
So, yes, I didn't have a "Christmas" this year. We didn't drink ponche,
there were no tamales, and the smell was not of gunpowder and cuetes.
We didn't do anything at midnight (everyone but me was sleeping), and
i didn't wish anyone Merry Christmas with a hug. Instead, I had to do with
formal handshakes from the children saying "Happy Christmas".
I didn't have all that. But it was a sacrifice that then turned into a golden
lesson.
A lesson that now I wish to share with you :) who were sitting in nice tables,
eating delicious non-veg food (maybe i resent not having that tiny bit jaja),
and drinking at midnight.
Be thankful.
For your family, for your friends, for your enemies, for your home, for your
life, for your success and your failure, for everything. :)
Merry Christmas!
---
Mientras el 2009 llega a su fin, estoy en un lugar donde puedo ver todas las cosas que tengo en mi vida desde otra perspectiva. Todo lo que se da por sentado, todo lo que esta presente en nuestras vidas diarias, todo lo que usamos para medir nuestras vidas como "buenas", no está aquí.
Una cama, una fiesta de cumpleaños, un pastel de cumpleaños, una familia, un cuarto para nosotros mismos, una opción de comida, una mañana libre, un nuevo traje para las fiestas, una cena elegante de navidad, una nueva pelota de fútbol solo porque la otra estaba muy vieja, una mochila de marca, luces de navidad, acceso a una "buena" educación, regalos de navidad.... todo eso no está aquí.
(Excepto tal vez por la auto-asignada mañana libre :P).
Y aun así, no es la ausencia de todas estas muchas cosas lo que me sorprende, y que me ha enseñado una de las lecciones mas grandes que he aprendido en mi vida. Es la presencia the una cosa que muchas veces no tenemos en nuestras vidas. Felicidad. Reflejada en las sonrisas de los niños y en los gritos cuando cantan y rien y celebran y viven.
Estar en esta ONG me ha enseñado que mi vida está bendecida con muchas más cosas de las que había visto. Me enseñó que aún antes de tener esta sorprendente oportunidad de venir a India, muy rara y preciada, my vida estaba bendecida.
Me pegó.
Pensé que tal vez la ausencia de lo que mucha gente llama una "buena" navidad, y de un viaje para ir a casa, a ver a mi familia y amigos, iba a partirme en pedazos. Pero son estos niños y sus vidas diarias quienes me enseñaron que he visto muy poco de lo que tengo en mi vida como bueno.
Asi que, sí, no tuve una "Navidad" este año. No bebimos ponche, no habían tamales, y el olor no era de pólvora y cuetes. No hicimos nada a la media noche (todos menos yo dormían), y no le deseé Feliz Navidad a nadie con un abrazo. En vez de eso, me conformé con un apretón formal de manos por parte de los niños diciendo "Feliz Navidad".
No tuve todo eso. Pero fue un sacrificio que se volvió una lección de oro.
Una lección que ahora quiero compartir con ustedes :) quienes estaban sentados en lindas mesas, comiendo deliciosa comida no-vegetariana (tal vez sí me hizo falta ese pequeño detalle jaja) y bebiendo a la media noche.
Se agradecido/a.
Por tu familia, por tus amigos, por tus enemigos, por tu hogar, por tu vida, por tu éxito y tu derrota, por todo. :)
Feliz Navidad!
all the things I have in my life from a different perspective.
Everything that is taken for granted, everything that is
present in our every day lives, everything we use to measure
our lives as "good", is not here.
A bed, a birthday party, a birthday cake, a family, a room for
ourselves, a choice of food, a free morning, a new outfit for
the holidays, a fancy christmas dinner, a new football just
because the other one was getting old, a branded backpack,
fairy lights, access to a "good" education, christmas presents....
all of that is not here.
(Except maybe for the self-given free morning :P).
And yet, it is not the absence of all these many things what surprises
me, and has taught me one of the biggest lessons i've learned in my
life. It is the presence of one thing that we many times don't have
in our lives. Happiness. Reflected in the children's smiles and screams
when they sing and laugh and celebrate and live.
Being in this NGO taught me that my life is blessed with many more things
than I had seen. It taught me that even before getting this amazing
opportunity of coming to India, very rare and precious, my life was very
blessed.
It hit me.
I thought that the absence of what many people call a "good" christmas,
and of a trip to go home, to see my family and friends, was going to
break me into pieces. But it is these children and their everyday lives what
taught me I've seen very little of what I have in my life as good.
So, yes, I didn't have a "Christmas" this year. We didn't drink ponche,
there were no tamales, and the smell was not of gunpowder and cuetes.
We didn't do anything at midnight (everyone but me was sleeping), and
i didn't wish anyone Merry Christmas with a hug. Instead, I had to do with
formal handshakes from the children saying "Happy Christmas".
I didn't have all that. But it was a sacrifice that then turned into a golden
lesson.
A lesson that now I wish to share with you :) who were sitting in nice tables,
eating delicious non-veg food (maybe i resent not having that tiny bit jaja),
and drinking at midnight.
Be thankful.
For your family, for your friends, for your enemies, for your home, for your
life, for your success and your failure, for everything. :)
Merry Christmas!
---
Mientras el 2009 llega a su fin, estoy en un lugar donde puedo ver todas las cosas que tengo en mi vida desde otra perspectiva. Todo lo que se da por sentado, todo lo que esta presente en nuestras vidas diarias, todo lo que usamos para medir nuestras vidas como "buenas", no está aquí.
Una cama, una fiesta de cumpleaños, un pastel de cumpleaños, una familia, un cuarto para nosotros mismos, una opción de comida, una mañana libre, un nuevo traje para las fiestas, una cena elegante de navidad, una nueva pelota de fútbol solo porque la otra estaba muy vieja, una mochila de marca, luces de navidad, acceso a una "buena" educación, regalos de navidad.... todo eso no está aquí.
(Excepto tal vez por la auto-asignada mañana libre :P).
Y aun así, no es la ausencia de todas estas muchas cosas lo que me sorprende, y que me ha enseñado una de las lecciones mas grandes que he aprendido en mi vida. Es la presencia the una cosa que muchas veces no tenemos en nuestras vidas. Felicidad. Reflejada en las sonrisas de los niños y en los gritos cuando cantan y rien y celebran y viven.
Estar en esta ONG me ha enseñado que mi vida está bendecida con muchas más cosas de las que había visto. Me enseñó que aún antes de tener esta sorprendente oportunidad de venir a India, muy rara y preciada, my vida estaba bendecida.
Me pegó.
Pensé que tal vez la ausencia de lo que mucha gente llama una "buena" navidad, y de un viaje para ir a casa, a ver a mi familia y amigos, iba a partirme en pedazos. Pero son estos niños y sus vidas diarias quienes me enseñaron que he visto muy poco de lo que tengo en mi vida como bueno.
Asi que, sí, no tuve una "Navidad" este año. No bebimos ponche, no habían tamales, y el olor no era de pólvora y cuetes. No hicimos nada a la media noche (todos menos yo dormían), y no le deseé Feliz Navidad a nadie con un abrazo. En vez de eso, me conformé con un apretón formal de manos por parte de los niños diciendo "Feliz Navidad".
No tuve todo eso. Pero fue un sacrificio que se volvió una lección de oro.
Una lección que ahora quiero compartir con ustedes :) quienes estaban sentados en lindas mesas, comiendo deliciosa comida no-vegetariana (tal vez sí me hizo falta ese pequeño detalle jaja) y bebiendo a la media noche.
Se agradecido/a.
Por tu familia, por tus amigos, por tus enemigos, por tu hogar, por tu vida, por tu éxito y tu derrota, por todo. :)
Feliz Navidad!
domingo, 13 de diciembre de 2009
Today
Today, Monday December 14th, 2009.
Today I feel alone, today I feel distant from who I used to
call house, today I feel like I should change for myself, today
i feel watched, i feel like im bringing hopes along with me that
are not of my property or creation,
today im lost in the woods, in the immensity floating next to the
moon, and being lost within the air of the atmosphere, hidden
beneath the air currents, waiting to be found.
Today I feel alone, today I feel distant from who I used to
call house, today I feel like I should change for myself, today
i feel watched, i feel like im bringing hopes along with me that
are not of my property or creation,
today im lost in the woods, in the immensity floating next to the
moon, and being lost within the air of the atmosphere, hidden
beneath the air currents, waiting to be found.
sábado, 12 de diciembre de 2009
sábado, 5 de diciembre de 2009
Air
Recently I received my latest Art assignment to turn in after winter break, and I've got to say I'm just thrilled :)
Nandu (the art teacher) asked us to choose one element from the five classical elements (earth, water, fire, air, and aether) and to research on the depiction of it in different periods of time and cultures. Then we have to choose three paintings or works of art and compare them. Finally, we have to come up with ideas to represent those in future projects.
So I went a little bit in the research alley to choose one that I really liked, since I feel identified with all of them by different reasons... and I found Air is what I like. It is free, restless, powerful, healing, changing, invisible, yet present. :)
But, rather than the artistic side of what I'm doing... it got me thinking again of this place, and what it has done to me, or what I've done to myself by deciding to come. I feel much more comfortable with myself, I feel different, I feel... free. And I want to express that through my art.
Also I think it suits with the carefree, disregarded side of me that is growing (to a healthy size I mean) .
It gets me wonder... how careful was I before? To the extent that it even held thoughts that were not even helping, they were just there, making me worry, like a ticking clock telling you that time is passing, and you have to prepare for the future. As if I had spent my (short) life preparing for whatever milestone was in front, always looking ahead, never stopping and looking.
And Air, for whatever it matters, represents freedom, but it represents something else: breathing. Letting go and not holding my breath always, but knowing when to stop.
The clock is ticking for me now, but I'm not only thinking what to do to make me future better, I'm living every second to the fullest.
Nandu (the art teacher) asked us to choose one element from the five classical elements (earth, water, fire, air, and aether) and to research on the depiction of it in different periods of time and cultures. Then we have to choose three paintings or works of art and compare them. Finally, we have to come up with ideas to represent those in future projects.
So I went a little bit in the research alley to choose one that I really liked, since I feel identified with all of them by different reasons... and I found Air is what I like. It is free, restless, powerful, healing, changing, invisible, yet present. :)
But, rather than the artistic side of what I'm doing... it got me thinking again of this place, and what it has done to me, or what I've done to myself by deciding to come. I feel much more comfortable with myself, I feel different, I feel... free. And I want to express that through my art.
Also I think it suits with the carefree, disregarded side of me that is growing (to a healthy size I mean) .
It gets me wonder... how careful was I before? To the extent that it even held thoughts that were not even helping, they were just there, making me worry, like a ticking clock telling you that time is passing, and you have to prepare for the future. As if I had spent my (short) life preparing for whatever milestone was in front, always looking ahead, never stopping and looking.
And Air, for whatever it matters, represents freedom, but it represents something else: breathing. Letting go and not holding my breath always, but knowing when to stop.
The clock is ticking for me now, but I'm not only thinking what to do to make me future better, I'm living every second to the fullest.
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