The ponytail

Today it's year since I cut my hear last. And in a year, many things can happen. But this is the first time I actually want to give it a try in describing in a different way.

At this point, I feel a bit numb inside, as if the real me is somewhere in there, waiting to get out through my speech. Finding my writers' voice has to do with less lying, so from now on, I'll think more about what I want to say. It's not that I lie everytime I speak either. If there's something I do in this blogpost is to write as honest as possible about how I feel. Otherwise there's no point.

Now see, somewhere I read that being fake doesn't bring you many friends, duh, maybe that is my case? But I'm not fake. Yes, but you know you lie sometimes, those white lies, and those times you lie when you want to get advantage of stuff. Damn it. Khristian, now you'll count how many times you lie in a day. Jajaja, This is like the movie. Anyway.

And then there's the times when I feel that connection with people, but why the hell am I feeling alone most of the times? Why is it that I feel like that after UWC, when people makes this larger-than-life friendships... mmmm maybe it's just an adjustment process. My second year was to be like wow, and it will be, if I finish the f*cking workload I have (damn you, Extended Essay).

Anyway, the ponytail thing, I thought about it yesterday. I think it's something that gives me a signature, a personality. It's not a generic good old fashioned short hair anymore. That's why I like it. But the cool thing, is that it took a whole year to be there, and that takes effort, patience, and putting up with damn horrible heat waves at MUWCI. It's representative I think, of what I learned, and what I grew as a human being there.

And, you, what is your ponytail?

That sounds like those pep talk blogs, "Find your ponytail, it's there inside you".

"Moats and boats and waterfalls".