3.48

I don't get this Indian people sometime, not that I generalize to all of them, but some of them are so... you just can see right through them. I guess they could also see through me.

Ha lev shali lahem, venishmati kullah,

God, the art school thing is overwhelming

I am tired, sleepy, jealous, immature,

it's dangerous, i'm falling.

I want someone.

Designing myself

As I found my chance to design something for the first time, the MUWCI planner, I find that the main thing I need to have is a voice. Trying to please whoever will use the planner is impossible, so the only solution is for me to stick to what I think will work and most probably fail to the eyes of some people, but I'll make sure it's most of them who find it useful and new.

Change is a big thing, and people might like the previous design more, maybe less, maybe the same. But I need to like it myself and make it according to my vission. Which is what I'll do.

Here's where the road starts I guess.

Home

At exactly the point where I know I have less than a month to live here, less than a month of seeing my second years, my roommate, my friends, half the people that now are a big part of my life, I find a song that describes de concept of home so simply and beautifully that I need to write it.

“Home is when I’m alone with you”

Y funciona tan tan bien que hasta duele pensar que no estaré con algunas de esas personas después.

Creo que al final de esta experiencia encontré el significado de un hogar, lejos de mi casa, y también en ella. Ahora solo espero… espero el día en que ese viaje me lleve de vuelta a mi tierra linda, con lágrimas, cansancio, alegría y gritos, dios… en qué me metí?

Sin título

Creo que es hora de empezar, de empezar una linea que tire y deje ir e ir e ir hasta no saber donde termina, y que me lleve consigo. Creo que es hora de comenzar a dejarme llevar por algo, por una pasión, quizás por falta de ganas de cosas que hacer, quizás por falta de ganas de cosas que hacer, o incluso quizás por falta de ganas de cosas que hacer. Esto no es producto sino proceso, de algo que me deje ser como quiero, que me de un pedacito de espacio para mi y que, si, quizás la inocencia se acabó, pero que la diversión solo acaba de empezar. La unica cuestion ahora es decidir el lugar de ese inicio.

Acaso segui a la liebre por el agujero? o solo me lancé? y no me refiero al agujero de la madriguera, el agujero de mis pensamientos que penetré con curiosidad, e impaciencia

The pie, the afternoon, and the white

My first year is finally out. I can't believe it as I write it here, specially because I remember when I wrote my first post on the blog, but I'm quite happy :) I think he's going to teach me a lot about being tolerant and not judging people. He's really really into math and sciences... like completely different than me :P totally into arts and not math. Anyway, i'm happy

What else? I think I finally made up my mind on terms of what I want to do (or at least one of my options); Graphic Design, and so my goal has to be to have a portfolio that's good enough to allow me to enter to Ringling College of Art and Design :P ... how the hell?

Mm,

45 días y el teatro

La relación de amor-incomodidad que mantengo con este lugar y conmigo mismo para variar me hace sentarme a escribir. A ordenar mis pensamientos. Acabo de ver una obra magnífica, creativa, con actores apasionados, de las que vale la pena ver siempre una vez más. Acabo de ser usado, literalmente, por una "amiga". El teatro y la energía que hizo correr por mis venas, las ganas de no estar sentado en el área común pero todos mis amigos están durmiendo. Las ganas de no estar en frente de la fiesta de te de media noche de los europeos, la mayoría de quienes provocan sensaciones contrariadas dentro de mí.

El saber que me quedan 45 días acá en el colegio. Cuarenta y cinco! Para bien, porque vuelvo a mi casita, y para mal porque no vuelvo a ver a mucha de esta gente en mi vida.

La canción de la francesita que me gusta mucho y me emociona, el ver a alguien que me atrae entre el público de la obra.

Y justo ahí esta otra vez, esa relación de amor y odio. La noruega me invita a la fiesta de té. Voy y me retiro elegantemente luego de un rato? Si. Porque ese es mi lema desde hace ratito.

Voy, y me voy a dormir luego.

Un beso

23 minutes

Before the next thing I have to do starts: College Meeting. There I will sit for an hour, listen to other people give announcements, and will give one for one of the activities I'm part of. But wait, why do I have to do it? Because if you don't do it then no one will know. Why doesn't someone else do it? Because they asked you to do it. Fine.

Where was i? Yes. 23 minutes. Wait, no. They are 19 now. Where did the other ones go? Shit, I have to start paying more attention. These things just run away from me, all the time. And they stay so long when I want them to go fast.

But anyways, I really don't know why do we have to do things we don't want to. See, when I want to sleep, my mind tells me I have to work, I when I want to have fun, my eyes say it's time to go to bed. How the hell do I deal with that?